Resolving Conflict – Jesus’ Way

This past Sunday at our Celebration Campuses we learned about principles and practices that help us to “resolve conflict.” Learning how to resolve conflict is something we all need to learn how to do well, because we’re always going to be encountering conflict in our homes, where we work or go to school, in society at large, and sometimes in our Church family. And if we don’t learn how to resolve conflict with others, we’re going to wind up having unhealthy relationships and living miserable lives.

This past Sunday’s study about “resolving conflict” was based from a study of Nehemiah 5, as we continued our Steps To Success study from the Old Testament book of Nehemiah. To view and listen to that message that was such a help to Sunday’s attendees, click here.

Jesus also dealt with the subject of resolving conflict. His words about Christians resolving conflict with one another are found in Matthew 18:15-17. Here is what Jesus said in that Scripture passage.

  • Jesus – “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”  (Matthew 18:15-17)

Here are some things we learn about conflict resolution from Jesus’ words in Matthew 18.

To begin with, we have to “admit our hurt”; we have to admit that someone else has offended us, or admit that we have offended someone else. So often we have conflict with others, and we will say things like, “That didn’t hurt me.” Sure it did. That’s why we think about it all of the time. And we will never experience healing from it until we admit that we’ve been hurt and become willing to confront the person who hurt us. By the way, confessing our hurt is better than repressing our hurt (which causes us to be unhealthy on the inside) or expressing our hurt (which furthers hurts our relationships on the outside).

Second, we need to refuse to gossip about those who have hurt us if we really want to reconcile the broken relationship. When people hurt us, rather than seeking to reconcile the relationship we are tempted to tell others privately or publicly how those people have hurt us. But Jesus said, “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense.” 

Third, we need to pursue reconciliation with others if we really want to restore the broken relationship. Many people practice procrastination or avoidance when it comes to reconciling broken relationships, which means they will remain unreconciled. Jesus said that we need to go to those who have offended us, and in another passage He said that we need to go to those that we have offended and seek to reconcile that broken relationship. By the way, when we get a meeting with those who have offended us or we have offended, we need to: 1) clothe ourselves with love and peace, 2) state our case specifically and lovingly (because if we say it offensively it will be received defensively), 3) listen to our offender’s perspective (1 Peter 1:19), 4) admit our wrongs to our offender (Matthew 7:3, 5), and 5) be willing to forgive our offender (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Fourth, we have to be willing to follow the process that Jesus outlined for us in Matthew 18:15-17. We have to first go to the other person privately. Then, if the relationship is not reconciled, we need to bring 1-2 others with us. Then, if the relationship is still not reconciled, we need to involve Church leaders in helping us reconcile the relationship. If we follow that process, 99% of relationships will probably be restored.

Paul wrote, “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). And Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.” Let’s strive to be “peacemakers” rather than “peacebreakers” in the days ahead.

This coming Sunday at Celebration we will continue our Steps To Success series as we learn how to “accomplish our mission.” This may be the most important message in our entire series from the Book of Nehemiah. I say that because a lot of people are “starters” when it comes to serving the Lord and impacting the world, but not a lot of people are “finishers” or “accomplishers.” Be sure to join us, and encourage friends and family members to come with you.

One additional thing we will be sharing with you this Sunday is something called our “52 Campaign.” Join us this Sunday and learn what the “52 Campaign” is all about.

As we’ve done in years past at Celebration, we have put together a list of Mission Trips that people from our Church family can participate in if they have a desire to serve the Lord in other countries around the world. When we send people on Mission Trips to other countries they’re often involved in building homes, feeding ministries, working with children and teens in orphanages or impoverished areas, street evangelism, teaching ethics in schools, etc. And the people who participate on Missions Trips often come back stronger in their relationship with the Lord and the people they were on mission with, and they come back feeling more “blessed” than the people they were ministering to.

Because the world is still recovering from the Covid19 Pandemic, we are focusing our Missions Trips in 2023 on Central America – sending teams to Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras and the Dominican Republic. If you would like info about these upcoming Mission Trips, go to You can also download and fill out our Mission Trip application by clicking here. God can use you right where you work and live, but sometimes He wants to use you to bring help, hope and healing to people in other nations.

Lastly, we are praying for people in Turkey and Syria who lost loved ones, properties and possessions to Monday’s earthquake. And we’re plannig to do what we can do to support and help people financially. If you feel led to do so, you can contribute to help the families victimized by the earthquake by clicking here Or by giving directly to Samaritan’s Purse or Convoy of Hope.